Chapter 5

Unfortunately for these convicts, there was no walls. Everyone sent to Prison Planet was actually jettisoned to the planet where they have to fight to survive while being starved. Every annual game, one lucky prisoner is released, captured, then re-charged on some other conviction the space lawyers forgot to mention in the space trial, or if any of the local space judges are having a good to mediocre to bad space day.

Before the were exiled to the prison planet, they were able to visit their relatives one last time. tragically Bones and Jackson had no living relatives (who cared about them). Brains however was never actually convicted on any terms as he was a robot who plead "my programming made me do it" in accordance with the Robot tribunal act of 7034 as well as section CVXII - A, subsection Q.53.2 of Aizen's Universe Schematic. Brains was therefor promoted seven ranks to First Class Executive Private-Corporal-Cadet then demoted seven ranks because he was a robot, and deserved no reward. Brains was then tasked with playing the part of their closest living relatives as he was the closest thing they had to a family.

All three of them stood in the "exec-u-pod" which was primed and set for launch. A photo was taken to commemorate the event to send to family and friends as Christmas cards, Jackson bought a photo print on it to put on his favorite flask.

"Do you have any last-last words to say before the sentence is carried out?" asked Asked the Spacexecutor. (Asked is his name)

"..." they said.

"GUILTY!" Asked condemned. He then went to push the overemphasized and dramatically placed giant lever in the center of the room from 'Welcome' to 'DIE'. Asked cackled "HA! HA! HA!"

Brains, who was not a fan being wrongly accused then decided to walk out of the unguarded "exec-u-pod" while Asked was trying to move the giant pillar of judgement. Jackson and Bones followed as there was no one to stop them, not even a mouse. So while Asked heaved away with all his might, The three convicts decided to become rouge rogues on the edge with nothing to lose, except money and their lives.

There was only one problem, no matter how ungaurded the judgement room was, they were still in the midst of a judging facility.

"So, what now?" Jackson pondered aloud whilst the sound of 'WHOOOSH' resounded from the pod they escaped from being rep-remanded.

"I believe that a 2-1 vote will take place, in which, two - towards stealing a judge-mobile against one, - not doing what the majority would favor. so we should just go steal it." Brains calculated. Jackson and Bones had a mini-celebration, they later decided to drink tea and invite Asked the Spacexecutor to recount the memories of this tribunal

Bones growled, as if he didn't agree, but he growled again to reaffirm everyone that he totally did want to go through this plan as the universal 'yes' is twice something that might mean no as two negatives usually make a positive.

From this day on they decided to begin to start calling themselves heroes, to save the weak, sickly and needy from oppression, and then end up robbing everyone in the process.

Just as the band of noble rogues (not to be confused with rogue nobles) were about to take off, an imposing figure appeared in the doorway of the space hangar and got on board using the old-fashioned hitchhiking technique known as “point a shotgun at the driver”.

“Who are you? Who? Who?” asked Jackson, repeating himself because of the effects of the bottle of whiskey he had found in the glove compartment of the space car.
“You young’uns with your disgusting disrespect for daytime television,” growled Bones. “It’s TV judge Judge Luther!”
“Oh yeah, I vaguely remember him existing! Wasn’t he that guy sued for malpractice by one of the defendants on his show, Tom Martin or something like that?”
“Luther-Martin is just an episode in my past, and in more senses than one” said Judge Luther having-been-convicted-of-malpractice-on-the-air-during-his-own-show-ly.

“Mah sincerest apologies for mentioning it then,” sarcastically drawled Jackson. “Now that the pleasantries are taken care of, what are you doing and why are you in our car?”
“First things first and not second which is not first, this is my space car. The Justice Channel lets me use it as long as I instantly convict anyone who wouldn’t make for compelling television.”
“What?!”
“Oh, whoops, I always get ‘fun, whimsical stories about being a TV judge’ and ‘depressing, cynical realities of being a TV judge’ mixed up. Can I tell you about the time 12 puppies were the key evidence in a trial?”
“How about you get out instead?”

“No, I’m escaping with you! Your band of noble rogues will be woefully incomplete without a judge, and I can no longer live a lie!”
“I’m not sure we – wait, how did you know we were a band of noble rogues? That’s our secret!”
“Well obviously, you’re being broadcast live – this IS the Courtroom Planet. Your daring escape from the exec-u-pod brought in some of the highest ratings ABC Crime has ever seen!”

“Statement: adding another ineffectual non-robotic buffoon to our freedom-fighting squad makes it even less likely to achieve anything and overthrow the organic oppressors. Odds of success with “success” calibrated to “not dying in a horribly painful way within a week”: .132%” Brains digitalized.
“Fuck off, tin can. I like the judge, he stays,” said Bones. “He reminds me of my childhood dream of being named Luther.”
Bones hit the gas and the space car went roaring off into the night.

~~~
All was quiet on the Death Planet Morbop. Samuel Mackarel the grave robber was up to his usual hijinks, digging up trouble, when a space car came crashing down through the atmosphere and landed next to him. As the bedraggled party emerged from the car, Samuel couldn’t help but wonder out of curiosity: why didn’t he carry a gun on the job?

Judge Luther died upon re-entry onto Morbop, because the first time he was there a shaman put a curse on him that he would die if he ever came back to Morbop, and it would be then that he learned what Hell looked like. Luckily his body contained money and whiskey, so the team was happy. Samuel Mackarel poked his soace shovel into the cabin of the ship to see if there were dead bodies to rob, but instead there were disgusting living people there.

Five million billion light years away the bounty hunter Warbler Wharbler got sent a space telegram of a 15 trillion dollar bounty (equivilent to 140 space dollars) on a group of 3 rogues who had escaped prison planet, the judge wasn’t included since they knew about the curse on him, since the Shaman was now the new space chief of space police. He put his holster on, got his hat with lazer holes in it, and drank a glass of orange space juice, and went into the sunset to meet his prey.

Back on Morbop Samuel Mackarel has died of being shot by Bones for being a grave robber, which technically wasn’t illegal on Morbop, but Bones didn’t know that, or that he was a graverobber. “He looked funny, and if he wasn’t guilty, he’s guilty now!”

“Under regulations you are now an outlaw, but as an outlaw I must state: fuck tha police” Brains said as a robot.

“Mmm Mmm whisky” Jackson said.

Back on Morbop Warbler Wharbler had arrived, since he used the teleporter and distance was really no concern in the future. Spaceships would have been obsoleted entirely if it wasn’t for the all powerful shippers union, that had more soldiers than the 3 most powerful empires combined. When he arrived he got on his knees and threw up, since orange space juice was poisonous, but it was also the only drink he liked. After recovering from the space shakes, and space intestinal tremrs, he continued to track his prey.

Back on Morbop, the team of rogues was actually only a few yards away from Warbler Wharbler, but neither side realized it. The group wanted to bring justice to the universe that could not be provided by the POlice, and so they sought out some criminals to kill, but since they too were criminals, who was really the criminal?

Warbler Wharbler took out his biometric tracking machine, which was a dog that he routinely forgot to feed. It let out a sickly bark in the direction of 3 strangers he didn’t know, and using his bounty hunter instincts attacked them. It would have been a shorter battle, but Bones accidentally tripped and returned fire, wasting .7 seconds of bounty huntin’ time. “Freeze because I already have you.” Warbler Wharbler said, as he tied them up. He wasn’t one for conversation or talking, but he took classes and his space psychiatrist told him he needed to practice.

Warbler Wharbler initiated teleport and sent them to prison planet. Which is where they arrived. When they teleported to prison planet, they remarked about the prison planet upon which they had arrived. Back at home Warbler Wharbler died of too much juice, and his dog buried him.

They served some long sentences there on prison planet, such as this one, which they continued to serve on the prison planet on and on and on and on, again and again, continuing until they ended, which seemed to seem to be never, though it actually wasn’t. This was however all farce, the Space illuminiati made sure that no one on prison planet actually was on prision planet, rather they were stored inside the space matrix tesseract black hole event horizon. YT was the best warden they ever met, they wp, fished and hunted [er his instructions.] But they had to kill him on the deadliest night of their long, storied towing career. During their trial by fire (and jury) they had to relive their murder death kill Dogs barked and angels sang, while much was unknown too. But not this, they were all gonna die someday, the dogs sooner than others, much like the group, which included Brains, Bones and Jackson who werrey the day they met. Werrey they were or werrey they weren’t as intelligible as it (also known as the Naginata of Kenkon) decente3d upon their righsous; hands were free. Brains Bones and Jackson then jooked the whole [riotous] prison system, escaping YT right before his plans to end their little prison charade, and finish his plans to end their lives, Jackson had a different plan and Bones had a different plan and Brains had a different plan. They launched the warden into space, now they’re free and YT’s on the moon. However this was not in their benefit, as the dogs barked and the angels sang again, creating a time paradox as there were no such thing as dogs. The dog that guarded the space universe ending device ceased to exist, and with it the causality of the button not being pressed, Brains knew this since he was a smart robot. As time began to flow backwards, it did. Slowly faster, then before, slower than before WAIT CHAMPION GOLIATH AIN’T GOT NUTTIN MORE TO FUCK.
THE END……..OF A UNIVERSE?
NO.

Ps The story wont continue.

PPS. Yes.
Ppps GAME OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Ppppps i skipped pppps
The end 5 real